Humour

World through the eyes of a toddler!

Children see, hear and experience the world just as we adults do. It would be fun to know what they are thinking. I imagine my 4 year old son would say something like this if he could verbalise all his thoughts….
Meet the parents!
·         When my parents make silly faces, I sometimes smile out of politeness and gratitude. But then they started doing it very often and it bores me.
·         One day, when I was trying to pass gas, I gave a new facial expression that they thought was a smile. They all got so excited and wanted to showcase me to everyone. My family gathered around to see me smile, but to their disappointment, I didn’t need to pass gas any more.
Eat, play and sleep!
·         Sometimes I wonder what they add to my milk. It makes me so drowsy. I want to stay up and party with everyone but I sleep off after every feed.
·         My parents get so many toys for me and seem more excited about them than me. I only like the real things like their phone, laptop, TV remote, keys etc. More than the toy, I like the carton in which it is packed since I can tear that apart into tiny pieces and play with the shreds.
·         Why do they keep saying everything doesn’t go in the mouth? Have they tasted it? No, right! So let me decide and hand over those car keys for tasting.
What babies want?
·         It was annoying when they did not understand what I want. They did everything except realise that I’m sitting in my own urine and they need to change my diaper ASAP!!!
·         Sometimes I even think that they make things so complicated for themselves. Just ask me if I have popped instead of sticking your finger in my diaper and then making yucky faces when some of it gets into your finger nails.
·         My parents embarrass me! They talk about the colour of my poop, rash on my bum and how many times I pee in a day. Are there no other topics of discussion these days?
Honey, I grew up the kids…
·         One day my mom was hysterically trying to find my shoes. She looked everywhere but did not ask me. If she had asked me I would’ve told that I threw it in the dustbin along with a pair of socks and my new toy car. But she seemed so mad that I just kept quiet at first and later simply pointed out the dustbin to her.
·         I can now recognise and name all veggies and fruits. Don’t hand over that brown mashed veggie and say it’s a banana.
·         I like to dress up by myself. I think it’s cool to be different and experimental. I like to wear my trousers as a hat and t-shirt below the waist. There is no need to laugh at me and take pictures to threaten me when I grow up.
·         My parents just can’t make up their mind. They say I’m a small boy so I can’t shave yet or drive a car but other times they say that I’m a big boy and I should not be naughty. How they confuse me….
People may not realize but it’s not easy being a toddler. It comes with a lot of power but also responsibility – to entertain, to be charmingly mischievous, to look good and grace photographs. I hear in this age of instant communication, one slip and you could be talked about on social media. I often see my dad shaking his head to himself when he can’t figure out what my mom wants. I guess when both of them are shaking their heads to themselves, they can’t figure out what I want. And the surprises will still keep coming……
P.S. This write-up is cooked up by me since like most other boys; my 4 year old son does not tell me what’s on his mind.
This article was first published on Momspresso (erstwhile mycity4kids).

1 thought on “World through the eyes of a toddler!

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